Emergency, Paging Dr. Beat

The NHS 111 call no one saw coming and an exciting event with The Little Grape!

On Thursday morning I was scraping the barrel for something to write about this week. I came dangerously close to doing a deep dive on prams. An hour later, I was on the line with 111 following a bit of a situation.

Honestly, sometimes this stuff just writes itself.

111: Hello, you’re through to NHS 111. My name is Rebecca. Can I take your full name, please?

Me: Hello, it’s Georgina Brisby, I’m calling beca-

111: Thank you, Georgina. Can I also take your date of birth?

Me: Yes, 3.08.1996*. My son…

111: And the best phone number to reach you on, in case we get cut off?

Me: 07912345678*. I just…

111: Thank you. Are you calling about yourself or someone else today?

Me: I’m calling about my son. He…

111: Okay. Can I take their full name and date of birth please?

Me: It’s Nico Weeks. 18.02.2025*

111: Sorry I didn’t catch that was it Nee-ko Reeks, R for Romeo?

Me: No. It’s Nick-o Weeks. W for… water. Like days of the weeks.

111: Ok. That’s W for whiskey, E, E, K, S.

Me: When was everyone taught the phonetic alphabet?! Yes. He just…

111: I’ll need to ask you some more questions. Where are you right now?

Me: I’m at home. I’m only calling becau…

111: Can you give me the first line of the address and postcode please in case we need to send help.

Me: Ok it’s 42 Fairview Gardens, W6 9LP. I’m sure it’s fine I just wanted to che…

111: That’s not the address we’ve got on the system.

Me: Oh try 92 Clareville Road, SW12 5RE. But I’m sure we don’t need anyone to come I’m probably…

111: Ok thank you that’s it I’ll just update the system.

Me: Thanks. Now…

111: Now. Can you tell me exactly what has happened?

Me: My son just ate my dog’s poo.

111: Pause. Right ok. And at what time did this occur?

Me: Actually it’s my parents dog, but they’re in South Afri…

111: And at what time did this occur?

Me: About ten minutes ago. I’m sure he’s fine. I’ve always said he’ll eat anything haha! I just thought it would be best to check?

111: I’m going to ask you a series of questions now please if you could just let me finish.

Me: Answering the questions. No he’s not unconscious, fitting or choking. No, no blood. He’s not limp or floppy no. Yes that’s him babbling. Yes, breathing normally. I mean he’s warm but not hot hot no. He ate it at umm… about six minutes ago? 10:14am. I washed it out with lots of… No he’s not wheezy. No he wasn’t premature. Rather overdue if anything, is that relevant? No. Yes, normal birth. Well an emergency c section but that makes it sound more dramatic than it actually… Um no medication. No rash. No, yes, no, no no.

111: Thank you. To summarize, your son ingested some dog faeces and he currently shows no symptoms is that correct?

Me: Yes, that’s correct. I don’t think it was very much, I managed to get most of it out of his mouth. He’s just very quick at crawling so I didn’t…

111: Can you bear with me. I don’t get this situation often so I’ll just have to check the best thing to do.

Me: Sure. I hold. Air on a G string plays. It somewhat elevates the moment.

When she returns she says she’ll have to pass me to a clinician for a more thorough assessment. I go through all the same questions again with and am finally advised to keep an eye on him for the next couple days.

I hang up and ask my dog-owning friends if this has ever happened to them. Not as common as you might think. Their children must be fussy eaters.

And now for the big reveal.

If you follow me on Instagram you may have spotted an event is in the pipeline. Well without further ado…

I’m teaming up with my friend Tatiana, aka The Little Grape aka wine connoisseur extraordinaire who’s shaking up the wine world with a mission to de-pretentious-ize it, for an evening of wine tasting and card-making.

During maternity leave we found ourselves reconnecting over the importance of creativity during this quite frankly wild time. Our shared experience on Substack led to a wider conversation about motherhood and the need for autonomy that comes with it. Carving out time for ourselves to write our posts did more for our inner selves than we could ever have imagined. Having a creative output at a time when we felt bombarded with commercial input reminded us of who we are.

Our mission is to encourage that in others through wine and craft. So we thought how better to start than creating a relaxed environment for you to sip and scribble in, in good company.

You don’t have to have an artistic bone in your body nor an advanced palate. I certainly don’t. But we hope you’ll leave having enjoyed a bit of time to yourself, full of knowledge, having got a bit creative in the company of like-minded women.

Thursday 12th and Thursday 19th March | SW6 | £45 per person

And one last thing.

Happy Sunday!

*In case anyone was thinking of sending me or Nico a birthday card - thank you, that’s very kind but these d.o.b’s and addresses are made up. I do have some boundaries with online sharing.